Reflections

As this year draws to a close, I spent some time reflecting on the year that is soon to be a year past. I will admit that I am glad that this year is ending. It has been a challenging year to say the least. Overall, it has been a year filled with lessons. Lessons on waiting, hoping, praying, pain of various kinds (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual), walking by faith, getting to know who God is and where was He in and through all of it. And then, just when you think you've got it and everything is looking up and all is well again, here comes another lesson, different mind you, but just as difficult, if not more so.

This year has seen me in various states of my worst. Dealing with pain, having a child diagnosed with a autoimmune disease for which there is no cure, raising teens, tweens, a preschooler, and a toddler, and whether I would remain at my church, stretched me to the very limits of what I felt I was. Each morning I received another opportunity to try again, to get it right, to do it better, to be better.

With each lesson and through each challenge, I learned that His mercies are new every morning and Great is His faithfulness, even when I have been faithless. So it is with some joy that I say goodbye to 2014.

And with great hope that I say hello 2015!

So Long 2014

I came across this on Instagram by @Womenbychoice and would like to share with all before this year comes to a close.

Thought for the Day

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thought for the Day

Real Thoughts

The outside of my door is decorated in autumn finery-- pumpkins, fall wreath, and brown crisp leaves on the lawn. On the other side of my door, you will find our family's Christmas tree, the stairs embraced with holiday ribbons and garland and our children's stockings hanging from the mantle. Two very different scenes indeed. Indicative perhaps that I am moving too fast, too quickly into the next chapter without fully completing the previous one. And just as my house indicates two very different scenes, I too feel the tug of war, the battle that wages on within. The outside desiring, demanding to appear totally together, ready for everything and anything at all times, hair in place, smile in place, right clothes and shoes on with everyone in tow smiling too. But the inside tells a starkly different story. One that is filled with anxiety, fear, pain and anger at the charade--the calls, pleas, and demands to be more than I am, to do more than I should, the expectations that are too high, the fear of disappointing others, and the demand to like it all. This side which lies hidden and protected behind the wall, threatens to tear the wall down, collapsing the perfect or wanna be perfect facade that demands its disappearance. And at the height of the battle, when it is raging and at its fiercest, I cry out to God and fail to get a response. It is then that I feel that I'm going it alone. And just when I have given up, I hear BarlowGirl sing their song entitled Never Alone. The lyrics remind me that even when I feel totally alone, do not give up or give in, continue to hold on to what I know. What do I know? I know that I am never alone because Christ is a part of me and even when I cannot see or feel him, He is with me; even when everything in my reality is saying otherwise.

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Getting Ready

Sydney just completed her practice 5K

Sydney is preparing to run in a 5K in the next couple of weeks, along with her Dad as her running buddy. Today she completed her practice 5K, which signals that her race day will soon be here. Kudos to her for the time and effort that she has put in faithfully over the past eight weeks. We know that you are going to do great!

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Thought for Today

A Lesson from Paige

Last Sunday, my daughter Paige reminded me of a valuable lesson. It was to not give up! I will reluctantly admit that I struggle with fear almost constantly it seems sometimes. As a result I will often not do things and in essence become paralyzed by the fear. However, on Sunday I was reminded of something I learned awhile ago, but never truly put into practice and that is even when you are afraid, do it anyway. On Sunday, Paige had a solo, one she had been looking forward to for quite a while. She was excited that she was going to have the opportunity to sing her favorite song by Erica Campbell, "More Than a Lover". She began singing strong and confidently, but after a few moments, she became nervous and scared and began to cry. I totally understood how she felt. It is not easy at all to stand before an audience to speak or sing, so I felt her nervousness and fear in my own gut. But even though she was crying, she continued to sing. She did not stop, she did not turn around and leave, she kept going until she finished her song. She never gave up, even though she could have and everyone would have understood but Paige made a decision to finish what she began even when it was not ideal, even when she was afraid. Though Paige may not fully realize this, and who knows, perhaps she does, she made a decision, a choice to not let fear stop her no matter how hard it may be or seem. She chose to keep going and not give up! And that's what I am to do also, no matter how afraid I may be.  Thanks Paige! You were very brave and I am so very proud of you!

Been awhile...

Wow! I did not realize that I had not posted in a month. Life happens and goes at such a rapid pace sometimes that you don't fully realize just how much time has gone by or what things you are missing out on in the "great rush of everyday life". As I sit here jotting down a few thoughts I'm thinking about some of those very things. I look out my window and see that the trees which line a nearby street are now a vibrant red. I could have sworn that just yesterday, only the tops were red and the rest was still green. When I look a little closer, I notice that my curious little toddler has become a thoughtful and smart preschooler who seems to become more independent in what she can do on her own daily. It doesn't seem that it should be that she is learning to write, to build, to explore, and question. But it is, and I need to be fully engaged in each moment of it. I capture a lot of it in pictures. My older girls ask often, "Mom, why are you always taking our pictures?" I respond, " So that I can look back and remember these times. You may not appreciate it now or even care, but one day you will want to look back and remember too. And when you do, they will be here." They usually give me this look of disbelief and keep going to whatever is next up on the plate, but every once in a while I see one or two of them grabbing an old album or photobook from the shelf, browsing and smiling. And I smile too.

More than a quote...

Advice to My Younger Self

I read an article a few weeks back which asked the question, "what advice would you give your younger self if you were writing yourself a letter?". After giving it some thought,  I have surmised that I would give my younger self the following advice:

1. Don't take yourself so seriously. 

2. Don't worry. It changes nothing. I repeat, it changes absolutely nothing. 

3. Get to know Jesus sooner. 

4. Remember, it is all temporary.

5. Love is so much more than the mushy, gushy stuff in novels and on TV.

6. Accept help. 

7. Forgive quickly and as often as necessary. 

8. Love like you have never been hurt, even if you were.

9. Focus in on what God says about you, not what people say. 

10. Don't ever give up or quit, especially when you think you can't go one more step or are afraid. Do it afraid!

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Another Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

                  

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Thought For the Day

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Perseverance

Love these...

I have begun collecting quotes. I'd like to share a few. I intended to create some nice picture quotes but didn't have the time to work on that today so I'll just share the quotes.

"When the world says, 'Give up, Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.'" ~Unknown

"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret." ~Laurence J. Peter

"Don't speak unless you can improve the silence."  ~Spanish Proverb

And lastly, "Hold everything in your hands lightly otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open." ~Corrie ten Boom

Hope you enjoyed!

Not Sure

I am not sure just yet what this post will be about. I wanted to write about the various occurrences from this summer and how we are now moving into Fall and everything that is going on now, but then my mind turned to thoughts of gratitude and how grateful I am for my life's journey and all that it entails. Then I thought of how maybe I should write about my current season of this journey and its changes and how it has affected me and my feelings on that. That of course, triggers me to remember to share some of the quotes that I have found to be inspiring and hope that they will inspire others too.

So I guess I will continue writing and we will see where it takes us.  Faith. Family. Love. Each one is so very important and vital to our lives. Under girding everything is love, without it we are and have absolutely nothing. I know that the popular thing today is that we don't need anyone or anything but ourselves. However, that simply is not true. We all need love and since God is love, we all need God, whether we admit it or not. That is where faith comes in. Trust me, I know that it can be difficult to believe that God exists. I have wrestled with that myself and it is not an easy place to be. I am just thankful that God won the war for my heart and assured me that yes, He does exist and I need not ponder that question again. Though I must admit, that like others, I find myself asking God, why did you allow this or why did that happen? And then allowing myself to be reminded that even though difficulties come and we are staring them in the face, that God is in control even and especially during those times. I am also reminded that from time to time, we require pruning. I imagine that even for the plants, pruning is not without pain; but from that pain, that loss, something more beautiful and greater develops. In order for us to grow sometimes it hurts but what develops from the process is something wonderful. Family. It is a wonderful vessel that provides us with the opportunity for both faith and love to be taught, experienced and lived out. The demands and responsibilities of being part of a family can stretch you to and sometimes past the very limits of all that you thought you were. But there is nothing like the love of a family. It gives and provides so much whether we realize it or not. It is there in joyous moments, like the arrival of new members and there with you in the trenches of the darkest days, even when you try to push them away and handle it all on your own. Family can truly be the hands and feet of Jesus, who exhibited and demonstrated unconditional love in all he did, said, and thought. So as I end my rambling session I will say this:
Thank you family for being a part of my journey and helping me in the areas of faith and love! I love you!

Happy Birthday Cassarra!

We're still celebrating....can't believe it's been this long. We love you!

Still Relevant

I came across this prayer many years ago and felt that the words spoke directly to me. After many years it continues to speak to me, though for different reasons now. It will probably always remain a favorite of mine.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; 

and wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world 

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right 

if I surrender to His Will; 

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him 

Forever in the next. 

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

First Day of School 2014-2015

Just a few snapshots of everybody preparing for the first day back since summer break...it's gonna be a great one!!!

One More Road Trip Before School

Just for you...

A Day In the Life...

Just a day in the life of us....

Thought for Today

Simply Beautiful

My Story

A quote from Sunday's message has stuck with me throughout the week. The speaker said, " you don't know my story." Then he proceeded to remind us all that we each have a story, but all too often, we keep our stories to ourselves instead of sharing them with others. We forget or ignore the fact that our stories should be shared because it could be the very thing that may help someone else. We often have many reasons for not sharing our story. Mine include selfishness and fear which I suppose in a way are one in the same. I don't want to be judged or thought of differently. And it also provides a way to keep folks at a safe distance and hopefully avoid disappointments and hurts that often come with allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others.

It is my hope and my prayer that although I am not quite there yet, someday soon I will be and will be brave enough to share my story. I know that my experiences were not in vain and that I have a choice in whether they will be veiled in silence or a beaconing light to someone else along the way.

Thought for Today

Too Hard for God?

Is anything too hard for God? That was the question from this morning's devotion. It kind of slapped me across the face and grabbed my full attention. Over the last few weeks I have been studying and working on Phil 4:6 which tells me to not worry and to take absolutely everything to God. Although I knew this to be true, I still would hold on to things I thought were impossible or that I thought were not important to God. How foolish of me. You see, in Jeremiah 32:27, God himself told me, or should I say asked me directly, "Is there anything too hard for God? You do know that I created all of mankind. So tell me why would I not be able to take care of you and the issues you face?" My response was, "ugh, I don't know, it was very foolish of me to think otherwise." But I did and many days, sadly to say, I still do. However, today is a day I will not. Because God literally told me so. And today I know for sure that he can handle it all and I say, "Thank you God!"

Some Encouragement

I needed to this....maybe you do too.  Picture and words courtesy of Holley Gerth. 

Thought for Today

Things which matter most, should never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

 ~Goethe

Our Words

 Wise words from Holley Gerth

Remembering Dr. Maya Angelou

                         Photo courtesy of mlquotes.com

The first time I read one of Maya Angelou's books was in high school as an assigned summer reading. After having read some of the other books on the list I concluded that this would indeed be another boring reading assignment before I ever opened the cover. However, I was proved wrong. Not only was it short compared to some others on the list but it was also a page turner, filled with all the events of her young life. As the years went on I have read more of her work, both poetry and prose. I have to say that in each piece of work, she speaks volumes beyond what is actually on the page. Her words have inspired me in so many ways and challenged me in so many more to be, to learn, to reach, to give, and yes, to teach all within my reach. Thank you Dr. Angelou for helping me to see beyond what is right in front of me and may your strength and spirit live on in the legacy of your beautiful yet powerful words.

Happy Birthday Gabbi!!!!!!

                                        

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBI!!!!!!

The Parenting Journey

Parenting is a journey. One which lasts a lifetime and most certainly one of the most rewarding journeys one can ever take. It is a journey that is filled to the brim with choices and decisions. You can choose to not take a step or to walk as long as it takes to reach your final destination. You can choose to run through it and not notice the beautiful sunny days or blooming tulips or feel the gentle breeze as it dances across your face, or you can choose to be fully engaged, taking in every moment, being fully there, fully present, whether walking leisurely along the way or sprinting toward the finish line. It is a choice or many choices--each one affecting a life or in some cases, lives in permanent ways. On this journey we have many, many days, some good, some not so good, some okay, some bad, some disappointing, some sad, some awesome, and some special. For me, today is one of the special days, as it marks my Gabbi girl's 14th birthday. Birthdays remind me that even though I will always be a parent as long as I live, that this time while the children are still at home is so precious and very much fleeting. I am reminded to enjoy the journey, to soak it all in and be fully there, even on the days when I am overwhelmed and feeling defeated by fatigue. Enjoy the journey, its one you only have the opportunity to take once!

Pray4Kids

Lord, we ask a special blessing on the books to be collected for children in need.

#pray4kids

Pray4Kids

If you want the poor to see Christ in us, we must see Christ in the face of the poor.

-Mother Teresa

#pray4kids

Pray4Kids

All children are our children.

-Former Gov. Richard Riley

#pray4kids

Pray4Kids

Open our eyes, we pray, to see that every child is made in your image and belongs to you.

-Childrens Defense Fund

#pray4kids

Pray4kids

When we address the issues of poverty, we are being good neighbors. -Bishop Jonathan Holston

Luke 10:29

#pray4kids

#pray4kids

Our family recently received a Children in Poverty Lenten Calendar from one of our local churches. The calendar focuses on praying for children in poverty each day of the month of April and asks that we share these prayers with others whether by email, web, or social media. I will share the daily prayer for the remainder of the month. If you decide to share them as well via social media please use #pray4kids. Let's join together to lift up children today.

Lord, there are so many fragmented families today. Bless all the children who need nurture and a place to belong. 

Ephesians 5:1-2

#pray4kids

For My Valentine